Posted by: ourbakersdozen | February 11, 2010

A no good, terrible, bad…


… week. And it culminated yesterday with my parking in the grocery store lot and sitting behind the steering wheel – while smacking it and yelling at God. Yes, yelling at Him! I was so angry. I had woken in the morning so tired and sore that I simply did not move but then remembering my post from earlier in the week, and my re-commitment to sanctify myself through my vocation as mother, had I not asked Jesus to please help me get through the day – to give me the graces to use my day to sanctify myself?

You might remember how my past Friday was and, sadly,  the following days just did not really improve much from there.

But after I was finished my mini temper tantrum I sat there so sad and so puzzled as to what I could be doing wrong. I had started the day out praying and determined to sanctify  myself with my day. I knew it had to be something I was doing wrong… because God just does NOT let you down. He is always there. So for the rest of that day I kept asking Him “what am I not getting? What is your message in this? What are you trying to teach me, Lord?”  Though He was silent I did not feel alone.

Then this morning as I drove Hugo to work in the bitter cold, I prayed my normal prayers of protection for the day and finished as I always do by asking for the graces I need to get through the day but this time the words came out a little differently.

Lord help me to accept this day as it comes. Give me the graces I need to accept the little trials and tribulations and all of the things that will go wrong. Help me to accept the disappointments that I will possibly face. Give me the graces I need to remember to ask for your help in tempering my anger when things do not go as I planned. Give me the graces I need, Lord.

As those words poured out of my heart – I realized the mistake I had been making. In deciding to sanctify myself through my work as a mother and asking for the graces to do so – I mistakenly interpreted this as asking God to act as a buffer to my day. To clear my path, so to speak, of all the little trials and tribulations of the day. In other words for Him to be my Mary Poppins when she magically cleared the toys for the children as they sang and play while they cleaned the nursery. Like the children, I was mistakenly thinking of my prayer as magic as opposed to seeing the part I had to play in my sanctification.

My part is to face the difficulties with God’s armor of grace and to ask Him for more grace when the difficulties threaten to pierce this armor. The sanctification comes in the acceptance of little difficulties and in turning to Jesus when the difficulties and disappointments threaten to swamp me. The sanctification comes in the cheerful acceptance of little problems and simply looking to God for help in solving them – one at a time.

In all circumstances give thanks, for this is the will of God for you in Christ Jesus.” 1Thessalonians 5:18

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Responses

  1. I wish I could send you a housewarming gift for your new blog. WordPress makes an excellent product. If you have any questions, feel free to email me or post them!

    I soooo needed to read this post from you! I can completely identify with feeling angry and let down by God because I haven’t dealt with my daily trials in the manner fitting for a Christian woman and mother. Thank you for sharing your perspective. It has opened my eyes.

    • Aww – a housewarming gift for a new blog. That would be a cool “button” to make for people to send each other! Thank you for the comment Bekah. Officially opening my doors to my new blog left me so nervous… what if my readers didn’t like it? What if they felt let down by my “surprise” and were disappointed it wasn’t a baby announcement as was hinted at by one reader! So imagine my delight when I got home from grocery shopping and found a comment awaiting my approval. 🙂

      I’m especially happy though that my struggle this week has helped someone else! God Bless and thanks for stopping by!
      Blessings
      “Our Bakers Dozen” aka Christi

  2. Congratulations !!!!! I also thought a new baby or grand baby might just be on the horizon but a new Blog is good too.
    It would be nice to be able to send blog warming gifts. I know that on face book my kids sent my MIL a tractor for Christmas ( too bad nobody thought to send her gas to run it… Oh well there is Mother’s day, right?)I wonder if those can be sent to blogs as well. Perhaps a candle or a painting would be better than a tractor . Anyway…. Congratulations and I hope your days start looking up real soon !
    God Bless !


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